I guess people read this now too. So yay. I literally wish I was capable of writing in a diary, but for whatever reason whenever I try to write in it I have nothing to say. I sit there and stare at my pen and try to write, but I can't think of one damn word. And somehow when I type, I can go on for days, and literally type everything. But really who wants to read that? Sometimes I have these super intense thoughts, and I don't think anyone should ever read them. Or know about them. And sometimes I feel like all these thoughts and all these emotions are going to cause me trouble. Some lady told me all her heart problems because of stress and working too much. This scares me more than anything. I need to dance soon. I need to do something. I really wish I never stopped dancing, if I could go back and change anything I would tell myself that it's the stupidest thing I could've ever done. I would yell at myself and say that stopping now would cause the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Like part of my soul is missing. Like I'm constantly forgetting something. Like there's a void in my life that can only be filled by movement and music. I miss the days when I could have a horrible day and let it all out at the studio. Where I could go to practice, and do a routine over and over, and get yelled at, and have to do strength because we sucked. And then do it all over again. I would NEVER in a million years think that I would miss that, but I do. I miss the headaches I got after practice. I miss the lights, the atmosphere, the people. When I'd be so physically exhausted and sweaty, and I still knew it was worth it. I MISS IT ALL SO MUCH YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND.