Without rapists,

who's gonna buy your whistles?


Although you might think my last blog was about a specific event that occured, it really wasn’t. I’m just saying certain people (mostly those who I haven’t seen n a while.... not you Katie, I promise) are slowly making me lose my faith in humanity. Humans are self-centered egotistical creatures, whos prime instinct is to do whatever possible to get what they want. That being said, I might start taking pilates again. I’m 99.5% sure you don’t know what that is.
On an entirely different note, John Mayer just came on the radio. I listen to him when I’m in a bad mood.
Moving on. That wasn’t what I was going to say at all. So. Re-do...
On an entirely different note, I’m an extremely paranoid person. (I blame the mother for that)
“Do I have to fall asleep with cliche flowers in my hands?”
If you were a rock, and I was the sea, what would you do if I washed over you like you weren’t even there? Would you try to get my attention? You’re a rock. Chances are you’re just going to lay there. Moving is too much effort.
Don’t even try to analyze that. I’m sure it will either leave you very confused, or with the wrong idea.
Turn the car around...
If we lived in a society where status didn’t matter, would that be better?
If money wasn’t the main goal on everyone’s mind, how might life be different?
If you say it wouldn’t be different, you’re wrong.
If you say it will never happen, I believe you.
If you say that money isn’t the main thing on everyone’s mind, it may be true. But it is for a hefty majority of people.
If I could live in a secluded area and not need any money at all, and manage to get by, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’d learn to hunt and fish, probably build some type of shelter for myself. I’d need to be within walking distance of people, but I could live without permanent communication.
I think that’s one of the reasons I love Into the Wild so much.
If you walked up to a man, and asked for some change, he’d hand you coins. I’d hand them back, and ask for change in the world instead. He’d probably say that he can’t help me with that. But I’d say he could at least try...
I’m in a thinking mood, which always ends badly. So I’m going to walk my dog, to attempt to clear my head.

I typed that the other day and saved it on word while I was without internet.
So, I'm not sure why you needed to know that.
Farewell.

I've recently realized,

I have a lot of pent up anger.
Today I had a mental breakdown. Don't really want to describe that.

I also realize I've become too trusting.
And, I'm going to stop.
That's all that needed to be said. I could have elaborated, just didn't feel like it.

Recently,

at work, Meghan asked me this. "Would you rather dance in the rain, feel no pain, or go insane?"
Now I hesitated, considering the fact that I like to think over my options and pick the best response that would suit me. If I pick "feel no pain" that wouldn't be good. Pain is how you learn. If you don't know pain, how do you know pleasure? So I didn't choose that. I'd rather not go insane, because I don't think I'd do well in one of those padded rooms. And those straight jackets are simply dreadful. Plus white would completely wash me out.
So that leaves dance in the rain. The option I probably would have chosen even if I hadn't thought over all of this in my head, and just gone with my gut instinct. Because truly, who doesn't love dancing in the rain? (You? Well you're probably a garden tool anyway.)

That pushed aside, I'd like to talk about Power Rangers.
When I was younger I had two Power Ranger barbies. The pink one, and the yellow one. But I personally think the coolest one is the red one. Yes, the red one is a boy. And yes, I'm a girl. But if I were a Power Ranger, I'd like to be the red one. And I will explain why. The pink one is just lame because it's pink. Pink is a gross color, and wearing an entire suit made up of that color doesn't appeal to me. The yellow one is Asian. I am not Asian, so I couldn't really relate to that color. Red is awesome, and basically the coolest color in the universe. Go red.

Goodness I've run out of topics to talk about.
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R.

You don't know me.

You don't know me at all.

So yesterday, I had the pleasure of working with Dani and Alex at the same time. What a joyous occasion. The main story from this is concerning a lady that walked in... who had the worlds largest boobs. (well not really, because the lady with the 36 triple k's would be the winner of that category. but anyway) So I'm not going to go into too much detail, because I don't really want to talk about someone that I don't really know. But the main point in this story is as Andrew was ringing her up, we find out she's pregnant. I'm not exactly sure how we do, but it happens. So Dani turns to me and says, "Oh, that's why. She's pregnant." Apparently she hears this comment while she's walking out the door, and turns and says "Did you just say something about me?" And kind of looks like she wants to smack a bitch.

Now, at this point all Dani was saying was the fact that the lady was pregnant. Which was stating a fact. She could have just as easily been saying "There are people walking in the door." Plus, Dani whispered it, and Andrew who was standing right next to him, didn't even hear what she said. So even though earlier I said that the lady heard Dani's comment, I highly doubt she did. Further proving my idea that American's are so vain, they simply think everything spoken must be about them.

Also, while at work I realized that the new people must be afraid of me. Well, namely Petro. Because he doesn't know me enough to fully understand my personality. So he isn't aware that for me, writing fake notes from the President of the United States stating that Kyle Schwartz is an alien, is something that regularly happens.

I also just got a call from work saying that I need to go in from 4 to 9 instead of 6 to 10. Meaning I now have one hour to walk my dog, finish watching this movie, eat dinner, get dressed, and go to work. Also go to the library to take back the movie that I'm watching. Unless I just decide to finish watching it after work and take it back tomorrow. Late. Which I'll probably end up doing. Making my late fee $10.

Matt told me to blog about him. I'm not going to make a whole post, simply because I don't have enough to say. So I'll just say that Matt Peterson's name backwards is Wehttam Rehpotsirhc Nosretep. He enjoys long walks on the beach, and occasionally not wearing shoes while crossing the street. While it's raining. He's dating Brittany Mattheu. I don't know her middle name, let me ask him that now. Okay. Her name backwards is Ynattirb Elocin Uehttam. Haha that sounds like a disease. His screen name doesn't make any sense. And my foot is falling asleep so that's it for today.

I'd like to take a moment,

And thank all of you for truly being there. I know that I'm sometimes a mess, and at times it seems I don't care about anyone besides myself, but I really do.

I'd also like to say that my arm hurts, and I don't feel like making a full post.
Also lucky charms are amazing.

She was scared of it all,

watching from far away.
She was given a role, never knew just when to play.
And she tried to survive living a life on her own,
always afraid of the throne.
But you've given me strength to find hope.

Credited- D. Lovato.
Two Worlds Collide.

I'm not one to be

angry. That often. But this post might be.

So... That being said. I'm sick of it.
I'm not going to say that I'm this awesome friend who does everything right, because I do make mistakes. I'm human. But I feel as though I'm a far better friend than you will ever be.
Our friendship isn't really a friendship anymore. It's more along the lines of you contacting me when it's convenient for you. And I know you may disagree, but it's true.

You only text me when you're either:
1) Bored out of your mind, and your best friend is at work.
2) Want to tell me a story, but you've told all of your other friends.
and lastly
3)When you want me to drive you somewhere.

I could go on and on about this, but really I feel that's all that needs to be said.


Taco bell should design new stores that are shaped like bells.

Biology returns.

Tenth grade, biology. Predator vs. Prey. Did you do that?
Do you remember it? I do.
I was a deer. This is relevant to my post, I can promise you that.

So today I watched The Stranger (stupid movie, for the record. Sorry if you liked it) Essentially it was the same idea. But it got me to thinking...
Now try to keep up, because this might get confusing. So I was told that in this dating "game" (not to be confused with the game that you just lost) I'm supposed to be the ball. Make sense? It will.
Cats like balls (sexual innuendo? not at all) They like to play with them. It's my "job" to be the ball, catch their attention and try to maintain it. Got that in mind?

Back to the movie. I'm thinking that if I had the option to be the hunter or the hunted, I'd much rather be the hunted. (Why? Stop asking so many god damned questions!) The hunter is aware. The hunter finds the huntee's weakness and preys on that. The hunter has the ball, the weapons, the intuition, and the skill to outsmart the prey. They essentially have the power to control the outcome of the situation. And I say essentially, because I know this isn't always the case. But we'll just say that most of the time, it is.

Now apply this to the game... and where does that leave me? Not where I'm supposed to be. In the game of cat vs. ball I'd be the cat. The ball is an object, I don't want to be the object. The ball is the prey, clearly I do not want to be the prey. But in this situation, I'm too afraid to be the cat. You may not understand. I'd like to say that I have a "prey" in mind. But that sounds disgusting. Like I will feed on you and leave you while you can do nothing to stop it.

Re-do.

So I don't have the confidence or wit to be the cat. So I'm not the cat. I'm not the ball.
I'm the little girl sitting in the corner sulking about her dreadful life, yet too scared to do anything to fix it.
Sounds depressing.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. It's fact.

UP

Lookit!

Warning:

Your brain may explode upon reading this.

I'm stuck. In the middle of many situations. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy helping friends out any chance I get. I like people coming to me with their issues, or just to discuss their viewpoints, so I get a fair read and try to see it as a unbiased (well as unbiased as I can be) third party.

But it's difficult. There are certain things I have to tell others simply because it's too much, and my brain might explode if I don't. I have a person, who shall remain nameless for the time being, who I tell this stuff to. And I'm not even sure if they are aware of how much I tell them. But I do. And I'm positive they will not tell others.

That being said. My life as it currently is, could definitely be an episode of The Hills. As much as I despise that show, and would never take part in a show even remotely similar to it, it's true. I can't explain this in detail, simply because that would be giving too much away. But there's a lot of drama. It worries me how I know all this stuff, and I'd like to tell people, but I simply can't. It's not my place to tell. And now I feel I'm becoming very repetitive, so lets look a little further into my mind.
"GHLHALFGEJKLHGVEJLSJLHHTEKLSJ."
Did you understand that?
I certainly didn't. And it's my brain. It's moving so fast that even I, the conductor, am unable to keep up with it. So now I'm no longer the conductor, but more like a passenger.
I would like to say a few things to some people now:

-I think you're selfish and an idiot. I hate saying that, but it's the truth. Please note that I like you as a person, but the things you are currently doing are making me think differently of you.

- It's not your fault.

-You think that you have the world on a silver platter, when really you're abandoning everyone. It makes no difference to me, but some people think otherwise. I wish you the best of luck.

You may say that this sounds bitchy, and maybe it is. But it's what I currently think, and isn't that the whole point of this blog anyway?
On that note, I'd like to say something.
I may talk about myself, my taste in music or movies or clothes, or whatever I feel like writing about. And that's fine. I may disagree with something you like, but I'm not going to post a whole blog devoted on how much I don't like something you like.

Like... music for instance. Not everyone in the world is going to like the same music, and that's a given. But there's no need to bash someone's taste, simply because it isn't what YOU like. You act like you're this godly person who has such incredible taste in music, and everyone should bow in your presence. Well, I refuse.

That last paragraph was a shout-out to Matt. As I refuse to comment.
That is all for now, stay tuned.